Hope
We often use phrases like “I hope it stops raining” or “I hope to make more money” “I hope this economy turns around” or “I hope the Maple Leafs could win a game”….
Hope in this sense is really just wishing.
When my crisis surfaced in May of 2009 I did a lot of “hoping” or should I say wishing. I wish I never made bad choices. I wish I never hurt my wife and broke my vows. I wish I never hurt my family and friends. I wish I could go back and “re-do” all that I did wrong…I wish, I wish, I wish. I’ve learned wishing never gets us anywhere…It’s a false hope.
One of the many amazing things about God (Papa), is that he loved me enough to get me out of my own mess. He pulled me out of the pit of despair (Psalm 40:2). He saved me just in the nick of time! (Psalm 107:19-20).
When God (Papa) gave me that second chance, He gave me a fresh new hope. A real hope. A hope different than the world’s kind of hope. I have heavenly hope! Heavenly Hope is defined this way – Hope is an expectation in certainty that what we have been given by God but don’t yet possess is indeed coming in due time.
Hebrews 11:1 – NOW FAITH is the assurance (the confirmation, [a]the title deed) of the things [we] hope for, being the proof of things [we] do not see and the conviction of their reality [faith perceiving as real fact what is not revealed to the senses].(Amplified)
Prov 13:12 – Hope deferred (unrelenting disappointment) makes the heart sick, but when the desire is fulfilled, it is a tree of life
And while I write this I know that some of you reading this may have no hope. You may have been wounded deeply. I may have caused some of that wounding. You feel like you have lost all hope. Being wounded makes us feel like “what’s the point?”, “why should I have hope, I’m only going to get hurt…again?”, “how can I trust anyone?”. Let me tell you something. I have a God (Papa) who brings Hope to the Hopeless. He can heal your hurts and past failures and give you hope. Hope for a future.
There is only one requirement…it requires giving up everything. God requires all of you. That includes your deepest wounds. Your failures…Your addictions…. You. I had to come to the place where I had a choice. Hang on to the garbage or let go. I let go.
We are all His children. He loves everyone the same…regardless of everyone’s junk..Ya, I said everyone…we all got it..junk. You see, he loves you so much that when you surrender your life to Him and have a relationship with Papa you are seated with Him in Heavenly Places! (Eph. 2:6)
I want you to take some time and listen to this song below. Really listen to the words. Know that Papa (God) deeply loves you….
If you would like to contact Marianne or myself (Christopher) please click on the email address. iworshipoutloud@hotmail.com . Tell us how we can pray for you.
You are loved
Christopher
The “Sting” of Life
Have you ever been stung by a bee? Ouch…does it ever hurt. I have been stung many times in my life. Bee stings are either annoyingly painful or deadly. However, it’s always entertaining to watch grown adults run away from this tiny insect but at the same time we all know that little thing can sure pack a “sting”. The best thing to do when you’ve been stung is to get the stinger out right away. The longer bee stingers are allowed to remain in the body, the more severe the reaction will be….
Being wounded is very similar. It hurts. And some of us have been stung many times by the issues of life. I have. And if the wounding is left untreated it could also be annoyingly painful…even deadly. Wounds hurt. Whether it’s been a divorce, betrayal, abuse of any kind or rejection. Some people have had the stinger or stingers in for a lifetime without ever experiencing proper treatment….freedom.
I was one of those people. I had been stung so many times that I have lost count. Not that I was counting anyway. I had functioned out of wounding for a long time. I had to compensate for all the shame I had been carrying. Shame from rejection, abandonment, shame from feeling unworthy. Shame from feeling like “I was a mistake”…many, many stings. I created a survival skill to bury my shame. One of my skills was performance. I hid behind being “the funny guy”. It was the one thing I could control at the time. I even exaggerated things in my life. I tried to make myself look better than I actually felt about myself. I began to live from the outside/in, hiding who I really was when I really should have been living from the inside out. But that would reveal the true ‘Christopher Brown’ – the one who was wounded and broken. The inside was so damaged. I had been stung so many times. And if the stinger is not removed immediately it could be more severe later. I am living proof of that.
You see, I functioned out of wounding for a long time. But here’s the thing about being wounded. Wounding can keep us in a place of playing the victim. Being able to tell our stories of all the “stings” we have been given. Wounding keeps us in a place where we allow our hurt to define us. A wounded person will wound others. Wounding is leaving the “stings” untreated….
And then there is being Broken. This is completely different than being wounded. Being broken allows our hearts to be open to receive true healing. Brokenness allows looking into our painful past to see what treatment is needed for the “stings”. It took me a long time to go from being wounded to being broken. God had a bigger plan. One that I couldn’t see because of my “untreated stings”. At least that was until I became broken. It’s a hard place to be, but it’s a great place to be. I am still broken today. I plan to stay that way…
What about you? I’m sure you have been stung. Maybe many times. Maybe even by me. There is treatment. But it requires letting go. It requires letting go of the wounding and coming to the place of brokenness. It requires you. I am still letting go of things. Still pulling out some “stingers”. But brokenness desires freedom for all of us.
Jesus didn’t come into this world to institute organized religion; He came to reveal true freedom. Marianne and I were chatting in the park as our kids were playing and we were talking about how this true freedom is not the kind that has labels for our sins and addictions. For example saying..”I’m an alcoholic” or “I’m a sex addict”. True Freedom from Christ is the kind that says – “I am Free! No longer am I a slave to my sin.”! God doesn’t see me as an alcoholic, sex addict or whatever the sin is. He sees us as righteous. We are His delight.
Jesus came to set us free. Period. That was His purpose on this earth. Look at Isaiah 61:1…
The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is upon me, for the Lord has anointed me to bring good news to the poor. He has sent me to comfort the brokenhearted and to proclaim that captives will be released
and prisoners will be freed
He came to set the captives free…What does that mean? That means He came for the broken hearted. He came for the captive. The person who has been in bondage. That person who has been wounded. Jesus based His whole ministry around one message. “The Message of Sozo”. Sozo is a Greek word that means…Saved. Delivered. Healed. Restored. Preserved. I AM SOZO!! God loves me. I love God. God flows through me to love others…it’s that simple. Where there is love..there is healing
It’s time to take the “stingers” out. It’s time to let go. Time to go from being wounded to being broken. Let’s continue this journey called “life” together. Remember, where there is love…there is healing. Marianne and I desire to see people set free. We want you to be Free! We want to continue to stay free ourselves. We all need each other. Even though our greatest woundings come from relationship, that is where we will find our greatest healing…through relationships.
So join us…Be broken. Receive healing. Be a part of this “SOZO Revolution”!
Be Saved. Delivered. Healed. Restored. Preserved.
You are loved!
Christopher
Breaking Free from Shame
After Chris and I separated in May of 2009, I mentioned how I started seeing a Christian counselor. She recommended that I read this book by John and Stasi Eldredge called “Captivating: Unveiling the Mystery of a Woman’s Soul.” I would as well recommend this book to every woman. Every woman. Period. Some of the chapters were a little more difficult to go through than others, and by that I mean that I had to dig deep, search my soul, be truthful with myself and uncover some things that I really didn’t want to expose at all. It helped me understand along with my counselors help, how some things from my past have completely affected me, relationships I have been in and ones I still have, but most importantly my marriage relationship. Let me explain. One of the tough chapters talked about shame. Ugh, that word. Shame, even the word invokes feelings of shame. I was living with shame from a young age, a result of a few inappropriate encounters. One of those encounters was with another boy where lines were crossed physically. They left me feeling disgusting, gross, confused, fearful, but mostly ashamed. I had kept this hidden and secret for almost 24 years from everyone, including my husband. All of this was brought to the forefront again when Chris’ crap came out, shame reared its ugly head again….I was ashamed of Chris and ashamed of myself for not knowing what was going on behind my back, ashamed of what people would think and then ashamed of what happened when I was 8. Shame affected me to the core……which made me believe lies about myself.
Here is a great website that I found that talks about shame: http://www.columbiapsych.com/shame_miller.html
And here are a few excerpts from it……
“One of the most striking contradictions that I have come across as a therapist is the discrepancy between the centrality of the affect of shame in humans, and the lack of attention shame has received in the study and practice of psychology. In my own training, I was taught to attend to a wide range of feelings: anger, fear, sexuality, excitement, sadness, but rarely, if ever, the feeling of shame……..In fact, most of us feel shame about feeling shame. As a result shame is rarely acknowledged to others, or even to oneself……As with any feeling, when shame is denied it will only resurface to create even more pain and havoc.” – Mark Miller PhD
“Helen B. Lewis, a pioneer in recognizing the importance of shame to psychotherapy, argued that shame really represents an entire family of emotions. This family includes: humiliation, embarrassment, feelings of low self-esteem, belittlement, and stigmatization. Shame is often a central ingredient in experiences of being:
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alienated |
unworthy |
“Shame manifests itself physically in a wide variety of forms. The person may hide their eyes; lower their gaze; blush; bite their lips or tongue; present a forced smile; or fidget. Other responses may include annoyance, defensiveness, exaggeration or denial. Because the affect of shame often interferes with our ability to think, the individual may experience confusion, being at a loss for words, or a completely blank mind.”
Another great website about shame http://www.emotionalcompetency.com/shame.htm explains shame versus guilt…..
“Shame is closely related to, but distinct from guilt. While shame is a failure to meet your own standards of behavior, guilt is a failure to meet other’s standards of behavior…..…Shame is personal, while guilt is public. Shame reflects on the “human being”, and guilt reflects on the “human doing”.”
That might have been an overload on shame, but I really like how they explain it along with understanding the physical manifestations of shame. As I read this, I was checking off in my head some of the effects shame has had on me, I can certainly identify with quite a few of them……maybe you can see yourself in them as well.
The problem was that both Chris and I brought shame into our marriage unknowingly. We were communicating with each other and responding with underlying shame. It was behind what we spoke, how we acted, how we interpreted things, or most importantly how we misinterpreted things. This caused a wedge to develop in our relationship; it slowly caused us to pull away from each other, which made us fall into the poor coping skills we developed over our lifetimes. But what Satan wanted to use to destroy our marriage (and let me tell you he certainly tried, and tried hard), God has come in to this situation and brought us both through personal healing as well as marital healing. By no means have we conquered all our issues, but at least we know the fundamentals to communicate our feelings, emotions, failures, victories without shame.
Here is another great website that talks about shame in Marriage: How to overcome it. http://www.focusonthefamily.com/marriage/sex_and_intimacy/the_overcoming_marriage/divorcing_shame_from_marriage.aspx
“Fear not; you will no longer live in shame.
Don’t be afraid; there is no more disgrace for you.
You will no longer remember the shame of your youth…” Isaiah 54:4
“Instead of shame and dishonor,
you will enjoy a double share of honor.
You will possess a double portion of prosperity in your land,
and everlasting joy will be yours.” Isaiah 61:7
Chris and I are not the first couple to bring shame into our marriage, nor will we be the last. You see it right from the beginning of time with Adam and Eve; how shame infiltrates marriage. And shame can stem from so many things. Maybe something happened to you when you were young, maybe you made a mistake, maybe you did something you regret, maybe you had to keep a secret, maybe someone said something to you that affected you to the core, maybe you are believing lies about yourself, or maybe you just aren’t living up to your own standards.
You don’t have to live with shame, God can take that shame. You can enjoy your marriage and your relationships free of shame. Like Isaiah 61:7 says, I will take my double portion of honor instead of shame, and EVERLASTING JOY will be mine!
Mari
An Ambassador?
For some reason this particular passage of scripture has been whirling around in my head, over and over, for a few months actually and I keep going back to it. So I am guessing that I should share this scripture and some of my thoughts, and again, they are just ‘my’ thoughts. But some of what is in this passage literally makes my heart beat faster and makes this fire burn inside of me cause I desire restoration in everybody’s life. So I share…..
2 Corinthians 5:14-20(Message)
His love has the first and last word in everything we do. Life would be simply outrageous if we all actually lived by this guideline, but man is this hard sometimes….I can honestly say that it doesn’t, not in my life. My selfish nature wants to get the last word, the last slam against someone that has hurt me, and also brings every excuse as to why I can’t do this or that for someone, and justifies why I shouldn’t. I am just being real.
14-15Our firm decision is to work from this focused center: One man died for everyone. That puts everyone in the same boat. He included everyone in his death so that everyone could also be included in his life, a resurrection life, a far better life than people ever lived on their own. Jesus died for everyone! BAM. That’s it. You can’t debate it, argue it, or challenge it. He died for everyone. This is hard to remember sometimes, because we love the ‘ya, but’ excuse. A while ago I had written in my journal about this….here is an excerpt… “No matter our sin….the same price was paid. The same suffering occurred. How can we even begin to rate sin when ultimately Jesus died for ALL sin. That is saying that Jesus was a fool to suffer for someone who isn’t that sinful by man’s standards.” If we could look at everyone as Jesus looks at everyone, think of the restorative power behind that. It simply makes me want to scream at the top of my lungs……. We are all in the same boat, we are all human, we are all in need of a Saviour, we all screw up, so please get over what you need to get over so we can all get along and enjoy this ‘Boating expedition’ together. Hebrews 12:14,15; Romans 12:18 are great examples of living at peace with one another, getting along, getting over our differences, our hurts, and ultimately all of us living under and in God’s amazing Grace!
16-20Because of this decision we don’t evaluate people by what they have or how they look. We looked at the Messiah that way once and got it all wrong, as you know. We certainly don’t look at him that way anymore. Now we look inside, and what we see is that anyone united with the Messiah gets a fresh start, is created new. The old life is gone; a new life burgeons! (to grow or develop quickly; flourish) Look at it! All this comes from the God who settled the relationship between us and him, and then called us to settle our relationships with each other. God put the world square with himself through the Messiah, giving the world a fresh start by offering forgiveness of sins. God has given us the task of telling everyone what he is doing. We’re Christ’s representatives. God uses us to persuade men and women to drop their differences and enter into God’s work of making things right between them. We’re speaking for Christ himself now: Become friends with God; he’s already a friend with you. So this last paragraph is jam-packed full of stuff. Stuff that I am dealing with and want to conquer. I think that a lot of us are evaluating people on a day to day basis, I know I do…I talked about it in one of my prior blogs. Here is where the problem lies…..we judge and evaluate people based on our own human standards, and by our own natural instincts and our own human point of view. I am not saying that we are evil, but we are sinners and don’t necessarily see things the way that God sees them. Well duh, we are human! But this is where we have to ask the Father to help us see others from His perspective. He sees us all with our garbage, with our scars, with our failures, with our attitudes, which we see in others too…..however, God sees past that. He sees our potential, our future, our destiny, and cheers us on, not holding all the other ‘stuff’ against us. This is where we are different….we do hold it against others, we don’t see beyond the crap in their lives, the hurts that they have caused us, the pain they have caused. Lord, let me see others the way you do.
EVERYONE united with Christ gets a fresh start! I am going to talk about a possible misconception here, one that I am guilty of. We equate, coming into relationship with Christ as ‘coming into the light’…….and if someone sins after that conversion…..we say “well they should have known better.” Trust me; I have heard this one especially about Chris and his sins. He should have known better….this may be true…..David Weidner, a man who has overcome his sexual addictions said this….”Over time, I’ve realized that coming into the light isn’t reserved for our conversion. On the contrary, this transparent lifestyle is the only way we overcome addiction or any perpetual sin. Light isn’t just the destination, it’s also the path out of darkness.” Wow, love that!
I also want to touch on the line where it says Christ called us all to settle our relationships with each other. Hmm, this one, makes my heart beat faster…..It’s hard, it’s difficult, and it hurts. I am not in relationship with some people I should be or could be, and I know God wants it……I am just being real; I don’t know how to get there.
I mentioned before the scriptures, Hebrews 12:14 &15…… “ 14 Work at living in peace with everyone, and work at living a holy life, for those who are not holy will not see the Lord. 15 Look after each other so that none of you fails to receive the grace of God. Watch out that no poisonous root of bitterness grows up to trouble you, corrupting many.” AND Romans 12:18 “Do all that you can to live in peace with everyone.” I don’t want to be responsible for someone else not receiving and experiencing God’s grace, I don’t want bitterness to grow and trouble me, and possibly corrupt others. If I harbour bitterness towards someone else, especially a fellow believer, what would make someone who doesn’t believe want this ‘christian’ life. I have to ask myself, have I done all I can, as much as depends on me, to live at peace with everyone. No probably not. I am sure there are things I could do. Are there things that you could do to have relationship or a better relationship with people that you once had relationship with? Wow, why am I writing this? It hurts like you wouldn’t believe…..But I know God has put this in my heart for months. And I don’t want to ignore it, I want God to continually make me more like Him and if that means that I have to have this mirror in my face and see what needs to be worked on , then so be it!
We are all representing Christ if we have chosen to live for Him and want Him to lead and guide us. Am I a good representation of Him? Would people know I am a Christ-Follower? Do I represent all that He is? Am I an ambassador of grace, love, acceptance, reconciliation, comfort, hope, truth, second chances, forgiveness……..for others who need this in their lives?
Mari
From the Ground Up
Mari’s last blog is one of those blogs that get us all thinking. It did for me anyway. She wrote how at a young age she began to build those walls….I want to share with you some of those “bricks” that made a foundation for the walls in my life…
Over the years I have built up my walls…one ”brick” at a time. For me, my walls were built out of wounding and hurts from a very young age.
Some of these “bricks” were feelings like rejection, unworthiness, fear and shame. These are just to name a few. These “bricks” are what created a foundation for my life. A Foundation that as we learned, later affected how I made bad choices. With feelings of being unwanted, unworthy, fear and shame, I began to build walls to protect myself so that no one could hurt me anymore.
Over the years, I began to push people away. Sure, I had and still have friendships but I would never let anyone in too close for fear of a couple of things. First, I didn’t want to be hurt by anyone anymore. And second, I didn’t feel anyone really wanted me (feelings of unworthiness). So I began to build a way to protect. At the time it was the only way I knew how.
I deceived people. I convinced people that I was larger than life. I got caught up in performance mode. I exaggerated stories and situations. This was another way I protected myself by not letting people see the real “Christopher Brown”. The one who was hurting.
It wasn’t until everything surfaced back in May of 2009 that I saw all these “bricks” I had. Through the counseling, reading and many conversations with incredible friends I began see find the root of these issues. And so began the “rebuilding”…from the ground up. It was then I was able to come to a place of real healing. Not just healing but see me how God sees me. And how is that you ask?…
I am made in the image of Christ.
I am the head, not the tail.
I am fearfully and wonderfully made.
I am beautiful, and I am deeply loved, and cared for.
He knows everything about me, is concerned about me, and even knows how many hairs I have on your head. Or in my case..the few hairs on my head.
He has a plan and purpose for me.
My steps are ordered.
I am a mighty warrior. I am an overcomer. I am more than a conqueror.
And I am friend of God
That was something I had recited at every counseling session I had.
Marianne and I have a desire to see people find a place of refuge. A safety. A place where healing can take place before a crisis happens to someone else. No one is beyond restoration. Not one.
So here is what I have learned and need to continually remind myself of…
God will bless you when others reject you. When you are cursed and rejected and ignored and persecuted God draws near and embraces you and accepts you. When all else leaves, God will never leave. When others want nothing to do with us God calls our name and says draw near – He will sustain! When persecuted and rejected remember the big picture and rejoice. Find HOPE in Christ. Find your strength in Him. God will bless you. The Word says that. The situation may not feel pleasant – but know that there is a reward, a blessing. And remember, God is with you, always.
Luke 6:27-35 Love your enemies, and be good to everyone who hates you. 28Ask God to bless anyone who curses you, and pray for everyone who is cruel to you. 29If someone slaps you on one cheek, don’t stop that person from slapping you on the other cheek. If someone wants to take your coat, don’t try to keep back your shirt. 30Give to everyone who asks and don’t ask people to return what they have taken from you. 31Treat others just as you want to be treated.
Act like God.
Be like God.
Who blesses sinners.
Who welcomes the fallen.
Who died for the guilty.
Act like God.
Bless instead of curse, reject and hate
You Are Loved!
Christopher
Tearing Down the Walls…..
As I write this new blog, I am aware that some of the “walls” I have built are going to start falling down. I feel a sense of freedom but at the same time this intimidates me a little, simply because being vulnerable is a scary place to be….I could get hurt. Isn’t that the reason why people build these “walls”?
Some of the walls I have built, have been there from a very young age, and could very well be quite thick in some places. Some I know have gotten higher and deeper. I have walls of offense, walls of fear, walls of shame, and walls of hatred. Sometimes I add blocks to these walls without even realizing it…..well not until God shows me. “You offended me when you said that to me.” I just added a block to my wall. “You don’t make me feel wanted.” Another block added. “I feel sorry for myself.” Another one added. “You hurt me.” Add a block. “You aren’t listening to what I am saying.” “I feel left out.” “No one can know this secret of mine.” “You have hurt me too many times.” “That scares me.” “I can’t forgive that.” “I feel used by you.” “How can I trust you?” “Is that what you call love?” “You call yourself a Christian?” “You only think about yourself.” I could go on…..but do you see how easy it is to build these walls, one block at a time. Unfortunately, it doesn’t take long before a wall is erected, it’s strong, and we feel safe behind it. We think that no one will hurt us again, or disappoint us, or fail us. BUT these walls also make it hard for us to feel love from people, to be real with people, and to accept good things from people……These walls cause us to second guess people, question their motives, and push people away.
When I was 21, this guy, a complete stranger, started talking to me in a coffee shop, I thought I was being friendly enough but didn’t want to give off any wrong impression ……at the end of the conversation he said to me, “wow, you don’t let anybody in!” I thought he was a rude jerk. At the time, I was obviously feeling safe behind my “wall”, and didn’t even realize it was there. He was the one with the problem, not me. Maybe I missed out on a really great conversation, I’ll never know?
Many of my other “walls” have kept me from a lot of different things. Perhaps I could have comforted someone, spoke words of encouragement to them, helped them in a time of need, but I was living behind a wall of fear and shame. I maybe could have had a healthy relationship with ‘that’ person or ‘this’ person, or maybe I could have lived without bitterness and suspicion, but again, I was living behind a wall of unforgiveness and offense.
Today I tried to have a conversation with Chris, but I was behind some of those “walls.” (Walls have a tendency to get strength from each other and fuse with one another, blurring the lines of either offense or fear for example….they all just become one big fortress that is hard to break through) Our conversation got heated. When you’re behind a wall, you have to yell through the bricks! (I am trying to make this a little less intense here, so you can laugh at that)…… With God’s love and strength I was able to break down a few more bricks, and have a healthy conversation with Chris. I needed to be vulnerable and real, explain what I was feeling. We couldn’t just listen to each other but actually hear the heart of the other person.
I love Chris. I have to listen to his heart, and not the distorted words I hear while I am behind my “walls.”
“4Love endures long and is patient and kind; love never is envious nor boils over with jealousy, is not boastful or vainglorious, does not display itself haughtily. 5It is not conceited (arrogant and inflated with pride); it is not rude (unmannerly) and does not act unbecomingly. Love (God’s love in us) does not insist on its own rights or its own way, for it is not self-seeking; it is not touchy or fretful or resentful; it takes no account of the evil done to it [it pays no attention to a suffered wrong].
6It does not rejoice at injustice and unrighteousness, but rejoices when right and truth prevail. 7Love bears up under anything and everything that comes, is ever ready to believe the best of every person, its hopes are fadeless under all circumstances, and it endures everything [without weakening].” 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 (Amplified Bible)
So I am going to wrap this up……
Virgil (A classical Roman poet; 70 – 19 B.C.) said it well……..
“Love conquers all things; let us too surrender to love.”
I am going to hold up my flag of surrender behind my “walls”, and allow love to conquer and destroy my mighty fortress.
Mari
Don’t Stop Believing
Faith is something that a lot of people will claim to have until they come face to face with a crisis. Trust me I’ve been there….I mean…I am there.
And faith is something that is very hard to hold on to when it comes to losing everything.
Both Marianne and I have had to go through grieving. Grieving much loss.
When all of my “sin issues” became public I lost my job. Not just my job. We were in ministry. In a way we lost our identity. I was asked to leave the church. I literally lost everything…My family, my job, my house and my life. I lost it all. No..this is not a good country song, this was my reality. These were the consequences to my actions. Very painful.
So, over time Marianne and I both had to go through a grieving process after losing our church family. We had to grieve over the loss of our ministry. And I had to grieve over the loss of friends and family who have cut me out of there life. It has been a very painful couple of years. Losing loved ones. Losing people who mattered most. All because of my actions. This has been a hard one to heal over.
You know even though God has forgiven me and He delights in me and loves me unconditionally, I still have to work through my own shame. The shame of my actions. The shame that I have carried because of the judgments of others. Which by the way whoever said “sticks and stone may break my bones, but names will never hurt me” is a liar. They do hurt. Judgment hurts. And words that people say in their anger and judgment hurt. Words are very powerful..it even tells us that in the bible…
The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit – Prov. 18:21
The message versions sums it up best…
Words kill, words give life; they’re either poison or fruit—you choose – Prov.18:21
I have many regrets over my actions but I don’t regret that my sins were found out. I needed rescuing. I needed to be saved from myself. My life was spiraling out of control and God pulled me out!
Then you called out to God in your desperate condition; he got you out in the nick of time. He spoke the word that healed you, that pulled you back from the brink of death – It’s time you appreciated God’s deep love. The Message Psalms 107:19-20,43
Ever since “my crisis” both Marianne and I have been tested with our faith. It seems like all along the way of this journey, God keeps asking “Do you trust Me?” God has been rocking our faith…hard. He has been re-forming our character, our heart and our mindset. I have come to realize that I have some trust issues at times. I have functioned a long time out of hurt.
Sometimes it’s hard to see past our circumstance. Sometimes it’s hard to see a way out of it. But God does. He knows the beginning from the end. The hard part is believing that in the midst of crisis.
I am still a work in progress. Actually you should know that I will always be a work in progress. I will never have perfection while I am here on this earth. But that’s ok… we’re all broken people in need of our Saviour! He is good to us!
So in the meantime we keep believing for a miracle. We’re believing for a turn-around in our lives. We’re believing for a breakthrough. We’re believing that God has taken our tragedy and turned it into a beautiful testimony of God’s restorative power and grace. To give others a hope and place of refuge.
No matter the circumstance. He delights in you. You are His.
You are special, You are loved, You are appreciated.
We are His idea. We are His. His face. His hands. His touch. We are Him. Rom. 8:38-39
Breakthrough is coming
Christopher
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